A few years ago, I had a sudden realization that both devastated and angered me all at once.
If I never got engaged, got pregnant, or got married...nothing I ever did in my life would be celebrated as much as those would.
I started thinking about my life up to that moment and all of the things I had experienced and accomplished that had gone largely uncelebrated. I traveled around Europe for 3 weeks at 23! I bought a house on my own at 27! I adopted a dog (the absolute love of my life) that same year! I had a long-awaited sterilization surgery at 34! Started a business at 37! I moved across the country solo at 38!
Why have we collectively decided as a society that the only life events in women's lives worth throwing parties for are those that involve OTHER people? We celebrate engagements/weddings because someone decided they love her and want to spend the rest of their life with her. We celebrate pregnancies because she's growing/birthing/raising another human being.
My life is worth celebrating even if no one ever puts a ring on my finger or a child never calls me "Mom."
This isn't about judgement of the people who choose to get married and have kids. I LOVE love and am genuinely happy for people when they find it. I'm always excited when a couple I know would make excellent parents decides to have a baby. This is about recognizing that there is no wrong way to live a life. Each one of us gets to decide what will make us feel fulfilled and hopefully be without too many regrets on our death beds. A life well lived looks different for each of us!
So, what's the solution? It's simple, really: let's start celebrating all the amazing milestones that make each of us unique. Let's throw parties for promotions and send flowers for solo travel adventures! Let's make more of an effort to find ways to celebrate the life events and milestones that aren't being celebrated and the incredible women who are being sent the message that their life matters less because they chose a different path.